Minor accomplishments, coming to terms with a few things.

First is an update of minor importance but a victory nonetheless: I WON the Fifth Third essay contest, and therefore, my entry into the River Bank Run was free! The value of the prize was only $38, but it's $38 that is still in my pocket. Feel generous, I donated $5 for a special YMCA running bib with my entry form so I am officially a runner on May 14 in the River Bank Run!

Training for the run is coming along in fits and starts, but I am now up to a mile and a half doing a fast-paced jog, not quite a run. Eh, my goal is endurance and finish, not setting any land records. My goal for the next month is to get to 2 miles with the ultimate goal of trying to do 3.1 miles on 3/1. Cool, huh?!

My other goal was to write an artist statement and begin a painting for inclusion into the Healer's Art juried exhibition at Pine Rest. Several ideas have gone through my head until I settled on one strong idea. The light washed canvas is far from complete, but it's that first initial stroke that is the most important. I'm hoping my proposal is accepted and I am added to the list of artists showing in the gallery.

I also have ideas about what I'm going to do for ArtPrize this year! It's cute, clever and has the potential to be a charming, interactive piece. For obvious reasons, I'm not willing to share it here until its been constructed, but I really love the idea behind it. I hope to capture others imagination as well.

The baby is in good health and having been in and out of hosptials and doctor's offices, we are crossing one thing after another off his list. So far, no more Dr. Dodge, the developmental specialist; no more Dr. Utvigult; no more eye doctor; and as late as tomorrow, no more Dr. Roeloff. We will be working with a speech pathologist, but in the meantime, we are still working on Will's speaking skills.

As for coming to terms with things... well, it's now been two years since I was employed in my field. I've gone on countless job interviews, I've tried changing my portfolio, changing my interview outfits (thanks Glamour and allure!), changing my hair, defending my hair, then finally accepting my hair. I've tried on various personalities in the process - perky, studious, aggressive, quirky, eager, and not-too-eager. The success has been in the fact in this market I'm able to GET an interview, but there has been a marked failure in getting past the first, second and even third interview.

I've asked interviewers to be honest and frank with me about this failure at landing the job, and the good news is it's not a question of my resume or my portfolio. Question is: what is it? A recruiter has told me the market is simply saturated with people and my theory is if employers can hire someone with half my experience cheaper, they will.

My sole consolation career-wise has been the frelance work I have produced to keep my resume fresh and current, and the new clients I have recently acquired that has made me feel successful and relevant.

But what I need to do for myself is come to terms with the fact that as Michigan is mired in the recession, it may be a while until I get a job in my field again, if ever. I was so proud of my professional accomplishments, but I can't let the loss of a job define me and depress me. It's amazing to see what I've accomplished in the last two years and must embrace and claim it.

As such, I received in the mail the invitation to the service awards for the position I'm currently in. A co-worker, seeing my distress in recieving the honor, encouraged me to see myself and my postion for what it is. I did a GREAT job in the marketing department when I was there, typically going above and beyond what was asked. I created great work, did great things, had a good time doing it. I did nothing to cause the elimination of my position, as hard as it is to accept.

Then there's my current postion, she argued. I made a bad situation and created a solution. I worked to train myself in a position and have been successful, and provided for my family. There's no shame in any of this.