This makes me think of The Zombies' "She's Not There"
I was at the Y for the Diabetes Screening Day yesterday. Now when I'm at the Y, I do my thing, chat up the staff I'm in direct contact with, grab my stuff and go. During the process of getting screened, the activities director (someone I don't recall seeing but a few times) addressed me by name and said I was a regular, welcomed member whose numbers ought be amazing given how much weight I have lost in the last year.
I was struck by the fact I have not been operating invisibly this year. People saw me, took note of what I have been up to. I was recognized! I hadn't been working out incognito. Going upstairs to do a little elliptical to warm up for the .1K race (really), I felt the weight of eyes on me at first, then I settled down.
I went through the same phenomena with adult skating when I first started competing nationally. As a last-placer, I thought invisibilty screens were up and operational. I timidly introduced myself to a few of the high-level male competitors at the after party, because, well, who was I to them? To my astonishment, they told me without a doubt, they knew who I was and invited me to dance. As a matter of fact, Brooks is the one who stun-gunned me with the comment, "it may surprise you, but you are not invisible." Added Jason, "You definitely stand out." They have since become dear friends.
So after the Y, Will and I headed downtown to "compete" in the .1K race, a charity "run" for Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. For those who don't know, that is oh, 528 feet or so, about a block and a half. That is when I turned invisible. At the hydration tent, where energy drink girls were giving away free samples to cute guys and college-aged girls, I was completely ignored. I've encountered this phenomena before with free sample girls: rebuffed by the Budweiser bikini girls giving away free t-shirts; encountered the I-see-thru-you gaze of the Gatorade girls; cold shoulders from the blinking button Zima girls back in the day, who were looking to pin my boyfriend instead.
Pissed me right off.
Not willing to put up with it, I demanded their attention in the loudest, yet sweetest voice I could muster. Still nothing, I simply shrugged, grabbed a sample and went on my merry way.
Once we were packed behind the starting line, I was content to blend in, be one of the 2200 racers having fun. But I still wanted to be noticable enough that people recognized I had a 3 foot tall racer with me.
Oh, my beautiful Will. For him, I am content to blend into woodwork and go from being "Melissa!" to Will's mom. I was very proud of him for running in his first race, and his joyful fist pump when realized he did it. He won the trophy (a gold spray painted addidas sneaker) for being the Clean Up Kid. What does that mean? I don't know, but I'm so glad the lesson he learned from my 5K race last month came to fruition this month.
Redemption came later at the drink tent post-race, where Will was awarded a flashlight keychain by the guy who took over for the girls. He was given the choice of green or blue. Will looked up at the drink guy, and for a moment was indecisive. He then brightened, and took both, telling him "green for Will and blue for mommy!"
I guess he's not content with either of us being invisible.
The visual symbolism of Wonder Woman's invisible jet is so obvious!
And in researching photos to illustrate this little story, I am aware my little insecurity issue is what the kids call "First World problems." In other parts of the world, women are completely invisible in terms of politics, education, socio-economic status, etc. Sadly, they are not even considered their own person, but the property of their father, then their husband. While I respect other people's cultures and traditions, not all cultures or traditions should continue. It's a matter of human rights.
And that's more important than scoring a free energy drink.
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