Secret Life of Objects: Parrot Magnet

A kitchen mainstay.

I’ve had this magnet since the early 80s and details are murky. I don’t remember if my aunt or grandma made it, but I know I bought it at a craft fair at church for a dollar or less. I have loved it ever since; it has lived in three marital homes and countless apartments. Where did I keep it before I had a fridge of my own... a pinboard, my locker? I don't think it was on my parents’ fridge, as this was something I selfishly kept for my own. I used this as inspiration for a computer art assignment in high school, one of the projects that got me into AP computer science and assigned as a teaching assistant. 

That's It, Just One Line - Landslide

"Can I sail through the changing ocean tides, can I handle the seasons of my life?" 

The Beatles, Ranked! The Bottom, or the Not so Fab

I'm fighting this too.

I said I'd do it, so here it is. First, some "defend the music" just outside the bottom:

Her Majesty - Her Majesty's is a sweet enough 30-second ditty, but the problem is its placement - The End would have been a stellar, mind-blowing coda to The Beatles. Still, Paul can't leave well enough alone and sneaks this in as a secret track, preventing The End from being the end. Couldn't it have opened side 2 instead?

If You've Got Trouble, a Ringo lead vocal that only appeared on the Anthology 2 album. Ringo doesn't remember recording it, and according to the studio logs, they only did one take. There's a horrible guitar solo, ushered in by Ringo's hapless call to "rock on, anybody!" Its redemption came while driving in the car, for the sheer garage band thrashing good time of it. I can hear the punk rock energy and potential - play it loud.

The bottom 10:

-10

The Word - it's one of the tracks that prevents me from truly embracing Rubber Soul as one of my top four albums. Early hippie peace and love movement stuff that sounds dated to me now.

-9

Maxwell’s Silver Hammer (85) - Fucking Christ, it keeps Abbey Road from being perfect. Saving graces to Maxwell is Mal joyfully playing the anvil and Steve Martin as some delirious dentist in the so-bad-it’s-good rock movie musical with George Burns.

-8

All I've Got to Do - You're not Smokey, John.

-7

I'll Get You - I may blame this one on the cartoon. I just remember ugly black birds doing the singalong, and the bridge was a discordant mess. John's quote: "Paul's attempt to write a song that didn't work out." You're telling me.

-6

Every Little Thing -the only thing I like is Ringo's timpani. Even Paul said: "It didn't have quite what was required."

-5

There's a Place - I mentioned before that this sounds garbled and annoying. It's early Fabs, not all of it was golden, just saying.

-4

Little Child - another one that was ruined by the cartoon and the smarminess of it. Great harmonica though.

-3 

Piggies - I usually love me a disgruntled George Harrison - see Don't Bother Me - but the harpsichord and grunting were a bit much, aaaaaaaand it sent Manson over the edge.

-2

Yes, it Is - not the right vehicle for them, and that wah wah wee and bitching about a red dress. John even admits it doesn't work. 

-1

Christmas Time is Here Again - a Christmas gift fan recording and it's awful. I hate it so much I'm startled by my vitriol. Drugs are bad, Paul. 

Edit: Sirius/XM did their annual Top 100 countdown over Memorial Day weekend. A number in parenthesis is that song's position on that countdown. Maxwell's Silver Hammer, really? 

Rethinking Black

How can I love a rare steak with crispy bits? Rely on a good chef.

Black is...

Taste: the flavorful, crispy bits on a well-prepared rare steak

Touch: the powder fine ash left after burning leaves 

Smell: the industrial smell of hydraulic brakes

Hear: Pearl Jam, Ten album

Typing Out Loud: For Emily

I hope you are flying across the ice, somewhere

Every year, I have to take the oath "I consider it an honor and a privilege" to be an official in figure skating. It may come across as a little Pollyanna-ish, but I do. How amazing it is to get the best seats in the house to see someone demonstrate to you how much they love the sport. 

And that's why it hurts that there's one less pair of skates on the ice. 

A skater I am familiar with died in a car crash along with her mother and brother on Easter morning. I didn't know her well, I can't even tell you honestly if I have said more than "good job" as I passed her in a lobby going from rink to hospitality. 

Still, my heart hurts. 

She was a lower-level skater and at the age of 16, wasn't destined for nationals. But I knew who she was every time she took the ice. She was an active team member of her high school skating team, continued to compete when and where she could, and demonstrated every time she took the ice how much she loved the sport. I'm pleased I was the one who suggested her to Ginni as a way to expand her team. I was looking forward to her going to college and watching her represent her university because I knew she would continue. 

Like other skaters before her - Hanna, Jenna, India, Megan - I was looking forward to watching her grow into a confident and capable young woman.

USFS frowns upon commenting on skaters on social media, but since this is a memorial, I deserve a pass. If someone sees this and wants to report it, go ahead. Rest in peace, Emily. I'm going to miss you. 

Best Meal I Ever Ate, Soup

I'm still losing my mind over a bowl of soup.

A trip to see the in-laws for what we dubbed "Birthankmas" in 2012 resulted in this glorious concoction, the best bowl of soup I ever ate.

Unfortunately, Facebook check-ins weren’t what they are now and I can’t recall the name of the restaurant, just that it was a hole in the wall near a hospital in Lopezville, Texas. 

It was the day's special and simply listed as chicken soup. 

The broth was rich and hearty, and loaded with fresh vegetables and chicken. I’m a lazy potato boiler and didn’t mind the chunks with the skin still on. Option to add rice if I wanted - which I did. I remember giving Dave the tortillas. It was one of the few times I had cilantro and it tasted great; usually, it tastes like metallic soap. 

I do have to dole out some love for my favorite everyday soup, the hot and sour soup at First Wok. It's been a go-to since I first moved to the Grand Rapids area and the lunch special was $6.50. It's now $13 and I don't even care.

Special shout out to a long-gone favorite in Saint Louis called Applegates. It was a deli with a soup bar, where on any given day you could select one of 24 different soups. My favorite was the tomato basil with cheese ravioli.