Typing Out Loud: Naivety v. Sophistication

Doe-eyed is usually a good way to get through a Disney movie, not so in real life.

For the purposes of this entry, I will start with the definitions of two polar opposite words:

sophisticated
1: deprived of native or original simplicity: as a : highly complicated or developed : complex b : having a refined knowledge of the ways of the world cultivated especially through wide experience


2: devoid of grossness: as a : finely experienced and aware b : intellectually appealing

naive
1: marked by unaffected simplicity : artless, ingenuous


2a : deficient in worldly wisdom or informed judgment; especially : credulous


I've been over thinking these two qualities a lot lately in terms of personal, professional and national politics. And I'm not liking how it's turning out.

My worldview essentially is doing what's best for the whole. While that makes me a nice person, that's not the way of the world. That is naive of me. At its essence, it seems most people, and the most successful people, the ones at the top, are the ones who look out for their own best personal interest and in turn, mold those of us who are naive into believing that what they want for themselves is essentially better for everyone. These people are considered sophisticated.

I'm not sure where I land on the naive to sophisticated spectrum, but I fear it is a little too far to the side of rube. A year ago, I wondered in a similar entry about where my life would be if I had chosen door B instead of A. Now I wonder where I'd be if I had been a little more cut-throat, a little more willing to look out for number one.

But can you fight that kind of inner nature? Yesterday at this time, I firmly believed everyone believed in the common good. Today, I'm leaning more towards believing people are, at their base, selfish. And still, if I had one sandwich and my co-worker had none, anyone that knows me knows half that sandwich is being shared, no matter how hungry I am.

So... am I a schmuck, an easy target, the kind of girl at skating competitions the winners full embrace, knowing I pose no threat because I have no killer instinct? Or am I a good person who while I give receives it back tenfold because my behavior encourages others to respond in kind?

We are teaching Will how to share  and it's been a struggle to say the least. Maybe the kid is right and I'm wrong. I've said it before, I want to be the girl with the most cake, but chances are I passed it on so everyone has a bite. 

Yes, this is a true TOL, because I'm rambling with no clear resolution, no way of tying up my ideas neatly. I think I'm trying to sort it all out in my head, because that naive "people are basically good" is at the core of my basic human belief. And yet, thinking back to the Feb angst breakup posts from last February, when given the choice of reuniting with several exes, I did refuse them, not wishing to allow them to hurt me anymore. By Sex in the City standards, it is equivalent to Samantha telling Richard "I love you, but I love me more."

Maybe there is a touch of sophistication to this doe-eyed innocent.