The playlists at certain stations are even more limited than this.
Every new year, Lake Superior State University publishes a list of overused words the school officially "bans," including trite phrases such as "you go girl."
Someone needs to do this to classic rock station playlists.
Over the weekend, Dave and I were on our way to Jackson for family holiday fun, leaving to the overly familiar strains of Twisted Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take It." Eight hours later, we came home to -- you couldn't make this up -- the familiar strains of the same Twisted Sister song.
Go to any sporting event, and the same songs that had the PMRC in a tizzy are now used to fire up crowds at minor league hockey games with nary a hint of scandal. I'm sure this is cyclical, as I recall the extreme overuse of 60s songs back in the 80s. If this is true, the 90s are on deck, with "Whoomp, There it Is!" already being used in a diaper commercial.
So here is 13 for '13, the overplayed songs that need to be purged from classic rock playlists.
We're Not Gonna Take It, Twisted Sister - topping it off with the band that got me started on the topic in the first place. Dee Snyder is a hero for his thoughtful, intelligent and brave testimony to Congress in opposition to the nonsense the PMRC was proposing to "protect" us children from the evils of the band Vanity. Yet this song has not aged well as a teen rebellion anthem.
Play this instead! I perused the "Filthy Fifteen" for a suitable substitute, and settled on the AC/DC track Let Me Put My Love Into You. Take that, Tipper.
Mississippi Queen, Mountain - terrible song I have connected with the groupies of the era based on its use in a documentary about the groupie culture. Is the song really about groupies? I don't really know or care.
Play this instead! Audiobook it with Pamela Des Barres reading her classic autobiography of love, fame and sex, I'm With the Band.
Slow Ride, Foghat - overused pot smoking movie soundtrack song. Flipping channels this morning on my way to work and stumbling upon this did not support the cause of the corporate classic rock playlist.
Play this instead! I don't know what it's like in other parts of the AOR (albumm oriented rock) kingdom, but Electric Light Orchestra isn't played as much as they could be round here. Are they paying the price for their disco leanings? That said, I pick ELO's Strange Magic for its hypnotic use in the movie The Virgin Suicides and Don't Walk Away from Xanadu, just because I can.
Old Time Rock and Roll, Bob Seger - Tom Cruise annoys the hell out of me, and his tie to this song does not help matters in the slightest. This song was banned for my wedding reception, a fact overlooked by the DJ when he was tipped $20 by some obnoxious guest to play it anyway. If I knew who it was, I would ban THEM for life.
Play this instead! Shame on the Moon. End of story.
Dreams, Fleetwood Mac - there's an awful lot of songs from the Mac that could be on this list, but thisone is the most blandly offensive. Thunder only happens when it's raining... really? Stevie, you could do better than that.
Play this instead! I am a fan of the long-neglected song Tusk, with its hypnotic bass and drum dirge with a sudden explosion of brass from the USC Marching Trojans. Still don't know what it means. The album's inside gate fold of the naked woman with a dog's head haunts me still. Yes, I have the vinyl.
Legs and Sharp Dressed Man, ZZ Top - Since New Year's Day lands on an AOR station staple "Two for Tuesday," the boys from Texas are my 2 for 1 special. Both videos for their respective songs are cartoonish scenarios where the Z girls help some luckless doofus find love by sporting new fashion and overthrowing their oppressors to a mind-numbing soundtrack.
Play this instead! I'm not much of a ZZ Top fan, but I know the song My Head's in Mississippi doesn't get the love it should.
Pour Some Sugar on Me, Def Leppard - Witness, if you will, the abrupt end to a love affair. I adored the lads from Sheffield, UK and their mix of metal-pop-glam. High 'n' Dry bought with babysitting money. Pyromania listened to over and over again, until the writing wore off the cassette. The childish illustrations on school folders of a yellow spotted cub sporting a Def Lep pin on its collar while listening on a Walkman, and winking! The cherished concert tee with the band's faces spanning my chest, from nip to nip. It all came crashing down when this craptacular song inexplicably became their biggest hit. The death of lead guitarist Steve Clark pretty much sealed the deal, RIP.
Play this instead! Slip on your Union Jack shorts and pick any one: Hello America; Let it Go; Switch 625; Stagefright; Too Late for Love; Rocket.
Born to Be Wild, Steppen Wolf - theme to the movie Easy Rider, correct? Because the song has been used, time and again, in nearly every single guys-on-the-road montage since. It is the cliched soundtrack to rebellion and the open road.
Play this instead! God, anything.
Frankenstein, Edgar Winter - Edgar Winter toured with Ringo Starr and the All Star Band in 2007, and performed this song, including all the instruments, solo. One of the single most dynamic songs I've ever seen performed live. That said, it's simply overplayed and radio doesn't do it justice.
Play this instead! For a replacement, I look no further than the All Starr Band alumni roster, a classic rock playlist all on its own. But who on the list is most overlooked? Let's go with Dave Edmunds and his song Me and the Boys, from the Spring Break movie soundtrack.
Piece of Mind, Boston - This song beat More than a Feeling out by a nose since it simply isn't as endearing as MTAF yet is played just as frequently.
Play this instead! I received the album Third Stage from my sister for Christmas in 1985, and Can't Cha Say quickly became one of my favorites. I snatched it off iTunes when I was given a couple of free songs as a gift, and it is still as bombastically overwrought with emotion as I remember. Awesome! cries my teenaged heart.
Cold As Ice, Foreigner - One of those bands you just don't know how they became so big, and when they went soft in the 80s, they simply became unbearable. The lineup has included so many people and changed so many times, I may have been part of the band at one point.
Play this instead! Thomas Dolby played keyboards on Foreigner 4, and he gets lumped into another one of those limiting genres, 80s new wave. Let's take Europa and the Pirate Twins out for a spin.
Tom Sawyer, Rush - Yikes, we are in sacrificial lamb territory now. The band most beloved by my husband, even he, at the last go-around on the Clockwork Angels tour said, "I don't need to hear this song ever again."
Play this instead! I really think their work from the 90s to now is amazing, and anyone who stopped listening after Power Windows is in for a pleasant surprise. Play BU2B from Clockwork Angels!
Come Together, The Beatles - Mama's band takes a hit this time. Oh how I love Abbey Road, but oh how tiring it is sometimes to hear the bass line day after day. Yeah, I get it, one and one and one is three...
Play this instead! DJ needs a bathroom break? Mama needs a Beatles symphony. Play the medley from the vinyl's side 2, starting with You Never Give Me Your Money and ending with The End, skipping Her Majesty, the not so secret "hidden track." I was once late for work because Uncle Buck played this on his From the Basement show.
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