That's It, Just One Line - Landslide

"Can I sail through the changing ocean tides, can I handle the seasons of my life?" 

The Beatles, Ranked! The Bottom, or the Not so Fab

I'm fighting this too.

I said I'd do it, so here it is. First, some "defend the music" just outside the bottom:

Her Majesty - Her Majesty's is a sweet enough 30-second ditty, but the problem is its placement - The End would have been a stellar, mind-blowing coda to The Beatles. Still, Paul can't leave well enough alone and sneaks this in as a secret track, preventing The End from being the end. Couldn't it have opened side 2 instead?

If You've Got Trouble, a Ringo lead vocal that only appeared on the Anthology 2 album. Ringo doesn't remember recording it, and according to the studio logs, they only did one take. There's a horrible guitar solo, ushered in by Ringo's hapless call to "rock on, anybody!" Its redemption came while driving in the car, for the sheer garage band thrashing good time of it. I can hear the punk rock energy and potential - play it loud.

The bottom 10:

-10

The Word - it's one of the tracks that prevents me from truly embracing Rubber Soul as one of my top four albums. Early hippie peace and love movement stuff that sounds dated to me now.

-9

Maxwell’s Silver Hammer - Fucking Christ, it keeps Abbey Road from being perfect. Saving graces to Maxwell is Mal joyfully playing the anvil and Steve Martin as some delirious dentist in the so-bad-it’s-good rock movie musical with George Burns.

-8

All I've Got to Do - You're not Smokey, John.

-7

I'll Get You - I may blame this one on the cartoon. I just remember ugly black birds doing the singalong, and the bridge was a discordant mess. John's quote: "Paul's attempt to write a song that didn't work out." You're telling me.

-6

Every Little Thing -the only thing I like is Ringo's timpani. Even Paul said: "It didn't have quite what was required."

-5

There's a Place - I mentioned before that this sounds garbled and annoying. It's early Fabs, not all of it was golden, just saying.

-4

Little Child - another one that was ruined by the cartoon and the smarminess of it. Great harmonica though.

-3 

Piggies - I usually love me a disgruntled George Harrison - see Don't Bother Me - but the harpsichord and grunting were a bit much, aaaaaaaand it sent Manson over the edge.

-2

Yes, it Is - not the right vehicle for them, and that wah wah wee and bitching about a red dress. John even admits it doesn't work. 

-1

Christmas Time is Here Again - a Christmas gift fan recording and it's awful. I hate it so much I'm startled by my vitriol. Drugs are bad, Paul. 

Rethinking Black

How can I love a rare steak with crispy bits? Rely on a good chef.

Black is...

Taste: the flavorful, crispy bits on a well-prepared rare steak

Touch: the powder fine ash left after burning leaves 

Smell: the industrial smell of hydraulic brakes

Hear: Pearl Jam, Ten album

Typing Out Loud: For Emily

I hope you are flying across the ice, somewhere

Every year, I have to take the oath "I consider it an honor and a privilege" to be an official in figure skating. It may come across as a little Pollyanna-ish, but I do. How amazing it is to get the best seats in the house to see someone demonstrate to you how much they love the sport. 

And that's why it hurts that there's one less pair of skates on the ice. 

A skater I am familiar with died in a car crash along with her mother and brother on Easter morning. I didn't know her well, I can't even tell you honestly if I have said more than "good job" as I passed her in a lobby going from rink to hospitality. 

Still, my heart hurts. 

She was a lower-level skater and at the age of 16, wasn't destined for nationals. But I knew who she was every time she took the ice. She was an active team member of her high school skating team, continued to compete when and where she could, and demonstrated every time she took the ice how much she loved the sport. I'm pleased I was the one who suggested her to Ginni as a way to expand her team. I was looking forward to her going to college and watching her represent her university because I knew she would continue. 

Like other skaters before her - Hanna, Jenna, India, Megan - I was looking forward to watching her grow into a confident and capable young woman.

USFS frowns upon commenting on skaters on social media, but since this is a memorial, I deserve a pass. If someone sees this and wants to report it, go ahead. Rest in peace, Emily. I'm going to miss you. 

Best Meal I Ever Ate, Soup

I'm still losing my mind over a bowl of soup.

A trip to see the in-laws for what we dubbed "Birthankmas" in 2012 resulted in this glorious concoction, the best bowl of soup I ever ate.

Unfortunately, Facebook check-ins weren’t what they are now and I can’t recall the name of the restaurant, just that it was a hole in the wall near a hospital in Lopezville, Texas. 

It was the day's special and simply listed as chicken soup. 

The broth was rich and hearty, and loaded with fresh vegetables and chicken. I’m a lazy potato boiler and didn’t mind the chunks with the skin still on. Option to add rice if I wanted - which I did. I remember giving Dave the tortillas. It was one of the few times I had cilantro and it tasted great; usually, it tastes like metallic soap. 

I do have to dole out some love for my favorite everyday soup, the hot and sour soup at First Wok. It's been a go-to since I first moved to the Grand Rapids area and the lunch special was $6.50. It's now $13 and I don't even care.

Special shout out to a long-gone favorite in Saint Louis called Applegates. It was a deli with a soup bar, where on any given day you could select one of 24 different soups. My favorite was the tomato basil with cheese ravioli. 

That's It, Just One Line - Burning For You

"Time everlasting, time to play B sides."

Happy birthday to my love, who always takes time for B sides, and whose love is everlasting.

#700: The Beatles, Ranked! The NAs

Er, not quite

Post #700 if I'm counting correctly! 

As posted previously, I dialed down my ambition to rank all the Beatles songs, deciding on a top, a bottom, and this, the mysterious unranked. Why? Because The Beatles Bible and I are kinda murky on how to define them. The songs exist, but some are technically not Beatles tracks, some barely exist, starting life as a Beatles song but ending up with others, and then....? 

Yellow Submarine soundtrack: The symphony tracks are credited to George Martin for scenes from the cartoon, such as Sea of Holes, Pepperland, and March of the Meanies. Part of the lore, but not Beatles tracks. 

Written by and/or performed by others: Lennon and McCartney song credits for Cilla Black, Billy J. Cramer, Peter and Gordon, and of course, band performances backing Tony Sheridan. 

Nonsensical jams: There's just not enough to judge these one-minute or less musical interludes that barely pass as songs. 

Mystery songs: All for Love, a song by McCartney/Harrison; Catswalk and September in the Rain, songs Stu wanted to perform at auditions that never made it to tape; and the holy grail of mysterious recordings, Carnival of Light.