Tuesday, November 20, 2012

What's Right in the World: be true to yourself

Billy Shakes makes for a popular tat.

I worked myself up into a panic this week. Why? My 25-year class reunion is this weekend, and in typical girl fashion, I stood in the middle of my closet with the age-old lament that I have nothing to wear.

This of course is not true, as I am properly attired on a routine basis. Even at this writing, I am wearing clothes. Nice clothes even.

Ah, but a class reunion, merely being clothed is not the point. You want to be noticed. You want that boy that broke your heart in 1986 to think "damn!" You want girls jealous. Did I have anything like that? I don't know! Off to the store I went.
 
It was on this trip that the clothes made the man, or rather the shopping experience made the woman.

In one shop, I made an anxious grab for miniskirts and dresses. While they fit, it was, to be honest, embarrassing. I saw a glimpse of someone in the mirror attempting to be something she wasn't. Who was that in the bronze leather mini that I couldn't sit down in? Was she trying for sexy? Trying for flirty? Or just trying too hard? Definitely not me. Definitely not the message I want to send my old classmates.

Onto the next store.

I had a little more fun with clothes at Kohl's. A little J.Lo, a little Lauren Conrad, a little Vera Wang, a whole lot of sequins. J.Lo's my age, so I tried on a nude mini-dress covered with sequins. I looked -- awesome! Buuuuuuuuuut...? 

A nude sequined mini dress? 

In November? 

At 43? 

Isn't that a *bit much* for Jackson? I tried moving around in the dress and the sequins scratched and the sleeves were tight enough that I couldn't move my arms above my shoulders. I didn't feel myself, I felt like I was trying to be J.Lo. And not just J.Lo, but J.Lo on a riser, with a wind machine blowing, lip-syncing her latest hit with Pitbull rapping behind her, at the Grammys.

I was momentarily dazzled, and the sequins itched.

So I was back to shopping my closet and thinking about how I wanted to feel as well as how I wanted to look. I wanted to look nice. Happy. Comfortable in my own skin, which is important for someone who didn't really come into her own until late junior year, and even then...

I have a lovely little navy blue silk dress, a-line, that I bought a million years ago at Old Navy on a whim. It didn't fit, so it was a "motivation dress" this past year for when I lost weight. Back in January, I was hoping to wear it to my reunion. I was in it by May. It is *almost* too big for me now, but it caresses the skin, the neckline is very flattering, the skirt flutters, and it looks great with either my gold shoes or my silver bling shoes.

So my journey today started to be about fashion, but it came around to me coming to terms with being true to myself and of course, "to thy own self be true."

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