Leadership!

Startled to find myself participating Skating for the Cure and raising tons of cash.

So in the midst of a pandemic, buying a cottage, and trying to figure out my skating season, I decided what the hell, let's go back to school!

It's a benefit for faculty and staff at Grand Valley to take classes for free. Looking at the available choices, I decided to earn a certificate in Leadership through the Brooks College of Integrative Studies. My first class is PA 390, Leadership Dynamics.

First paper was a difficult subject but surprisingly easy to write: how to find leadership qualities in a cancer diagnosis:

It is interesting to note this paper is drastically different than the one I started last night. Just as I was about to complete my final proof, a friend came to me for advice. Her sister was diagnosed with breast cancer, a crisis within the worrisome isolation of the pandemic. The timing shook me, as this is the two year anniversary of my own diagnosis.

How do you find leadership in cancer? The phrase “step out of your comfort zone” resonates, and I reflected on life the last two years. How did I respond to my treatment and how is it I emerged as a source of comfort and care for others?

As a mother, it meant putting on a brave face and crying in the shower.

As a wife, it meant honesty, planning, preparation, and communication.

As a patient, it meant finding daily rewards during treatment by posting chicken breast recipes and Queen playlists on social media.

As an employee, it meant collaboration, determination, competence, and tapping into my energy reserves to continue working as if nothing was wrong.

And as a survivor, I have found myself a reluctant leader, awkwardly embracing the role my experience has created (Zhang et al., 2020). No one wants to be a Warrior in Pink, it’s just thrust upon you. There is both interpersonal and image risk in assuming this role: cancer treatment is not one-size-fits-all, and I know better than to claim expertise. I am not a medical professional, fate just had other ideas.

I realize leadership is a complex process (Northouse, 2019), and leaders must possess a dimension of moral or ethical quality in what they do. I feel an obligation to talk to friends who are scared, because they sought me out. What has emerged is an urgency to use the referent and informational power to help those who are facing their own diagnoses. This has resulted in care packages to childhood friends, get-well coffee gift card to a skating judge struggling through chemo, and a listening ear for a friend managing across the country. Because of my desire to uplift, I have unwittingly created what could be considered legitimate power.