Leadership Week 2:

                 

Listen here, hockey boys...

In reviewing my scores for the Transformational and Authentic Leadership assessments, I was frustrated, but not surprised, to have scored low on the balanced processing portion of the assessment. According to the assessment, my score “indicated that you could be more open to other people’s thoughts and ideas and build better relationships.”

The last four years, politically, have been a struggle in this area. I have attempted on many occasions to practice active listening skills, include other people’s opinions, empathize, and ask others for their opinions before making a value judgement. I knew the other side was angry, and that’s why we had a Trump presidency, and I was open to find out what the silent majority wanted but felt they weren't being heard. Frankly, it was exhausting. I could not rectify the difference between my political point of view to that of my family’s. And it is hard to practice active listening skills knowing the same courtesy will not be extended. During one heated debate, I was told scornfully, “That’s because you’re educated, just like the other elites.” I feel that perhaps this interpersonal communication struggle colored my answers in the assessment, as I consistently work on these skills, and have found greater success in work/professional settings.

But I acknowledge I do have to work on these skills. They are not an organic, natural part of my process. I make small mistakes, like looking so intently in someone’s face during an introduction that their name flies directly out my ears. I’m good at empathy, but with it comes judgement. And even during active listening, I find myself formulating a response in my head so I get my two cents in when it’s my turn, as opposed to absorbing what is being communicated.

I am heartened the assessments identified strengths, and this helps point me towards the kind of leader I’d like to be.

For the authentic leadership assessment, I scored high in self-awareness, internalized moral perspective, and relational transparency. How do I interpret these scores?

Self-awareness: that I have a great sense of who I am, based in part on my upbringing, maturation, and critical life events. My husband and I have developed a harmonious relationship based on a fluid yet unified definition of spousal roles in our home. He hates shopping and meal planning, but if I do both, he won’t hesitate to make dinner. I hate bill paying, but as long as I deposit my paycheck, he makes sure we have gas and electric.

Internalized moral perspective: doing what’s right based on your guiding principles. When I was diagnosed with cancer two years ago, my initial reaction was to tackle it, get over it, and put it in the past. But within my work and skating communities, I instead became someone to come to for counsel, and in turn, honor those relationships and cultivate confidence, hope, optimism, and resilience. I could not deny my obligation.

Relational transparency: maintaining effective relationships and authentic leadership potential. Reviewing this, my understanding of this is honesty and transparency while maintaining boundaries. In skating, I can be approachable but only to a point; US Figure Skating has strict rules, which are upheld by SafeSport, about what is permissible (and not) in regards to skater/skater, skater/judge, and judge/parent interaction. I am aware of my potential to have the upper hand in these relationships, and work to maintain a level of approachability while maintaining a respectful distance. In relationships with skaters, especially if they are underage, I err on the side of caution when interacting, making sure a coach or parent is always present. Parents appreciate this respect for their skater and the rules.