Chasing Prizes

Kept one, left one behind. 

I’ve spent a couple weekends helping mom get her house ready for sale, including the massive clean out with her and my sisters this past weekend. 

One of my chores included donating or throwing away most of my dad’s bowling and golf trophies. I rescued a hole in one plaque and his MHSAA service award, Candi saved his Southern Open trophy, Gia took none, mom saved his last Senior Open trophy to be buried with him. Fifty years of trophies, most of which had long been boxed up when he was alive, just gone.

Suddenly, this has created a mental crisis in my own running and skating efforts: is it all worth it? What am I doing, chasing awards and accolades, only for them to be dumped in a box, forgotten, and thrown away in 30 years by my kid when I’m gone? 

Full disclosure that this is happening two weeks before adult nationals and masters games competitions, and my IT band and piriformis is out of whack. But also at a time when I’ve been having equipment issues and a lack of training time. And back to school. And being a mom. And stuck at home during a pandemic. And working on our cottage. And taking on more responsibilities at work.

And. And. And.

Fact is, I need to continue working out - skating or otherwise - to maintain my health and keep diabetes under control. I have to keep moving. 

The other fact is figure skating has moved down the priority list significantly in the last year too. Will is more important. So is Dave. And my mom. I mean, in order to be properly fitted for a new pair of skates, I need to make an appointment and fly/drive to a major city with a expert skate tech and mentally I think “who has time for that?!”

But I still love to skate. I love choreographing new programs, and have not one but two great ideas for the song “I Only Have Eyes For You.” I’ve had greater success in the Showcase categories, so maybe I stick with that for fun. And give gold moves one more shot then move on. I miss dance, so back to patterns. 

Running…? I never loved it, just the feeling of accomplishment and being a part of something bigger. Because an elliptical has been my only equipment, I’ve been doing virtual races at home, with diminishing enthusiasm and returns. Plus the place I’ve been entering virtual races has been notoriously bad at fulfilling orders in a timely manner, my eagerness to complete these challenges has dropped too.

Or maybe I’ve overindulged in races, completing at least two a month, and they’re no longer special. 

I’ve done a lot of complaining but maybe a bit of soul searching as well in this post. Focus on what is fun about these athletic endeavors and what about the experiences can be shared with family and decide what can be left behind.