Someone I had a difficult relationship with recently passed away. Karma tested me by presenting me with the opportunity to play messenger, and deliver the news to mutual friends and colleagues since I was in the unique position to be the only person to see the obituary.
Saying we had a difficult relationship is underwhelming. To say this woman hated me is an understatement. She unleashed a vicious campaign behind my back to discredit me and successfully blocked a promotion. She was always angry, dismissive and outraged in my presence. "What are YOU doing here?!" she had snarled more than once when I walked into a room.
So how was I going to set about sharing the information, in effect, eulogizing her to our peers, the very group she attempted not so long ago to turn against me?
To ignore the information and not share it would be too easy. It would also be classless. Snarky would be too easy too, and I just wasn't raised that way.
What to do?
Being in the modern world, I typed a carefully worded email to a few "powers that be," apologized for the impersonal email but was compelled to share the news of this person's passing, and provided a link to the obituary online, knowing more than a few people would want to know.
A week later, I was at an event where people talked of her passing, and thanked me for allowing them to mourn. By sharing, it meant more people were willing to talk. And I learned a few things. While it doesn't forgive the way I was treated, I got a little insight into WHY and more importantly, how it may not have been about me at all.
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