This memory came about from a Reddit post discussing the coming-of-age movie Seeing Red and the main character Mei's notebook filled with drawings and stories about her crushes, from a boy band to the kid at the convenience store. Fellow adult women confessed to the vibrancy of their teenage imagination, falling in love with love and pimply boys elevated to gods in Nikes and Cheeto-stained t-shirts, and what we created out of that emotion.
One poster confessed to fanfic stories about Harrison Ford.
Another, drawings of herself with Prince.
My cringe-worthy contribution to the discussion? Back in the 80s, after we got MTV, I storyboarded a music video for Def Leppard and the ballad Too Late for Love. Oh lord, let’s see if I can remember the plot based on rereading the lyrics and a glance back at the object of my affection, lead guitarist Steve Clark.
We try to connect, the girl back home and the boy on the rise to superstardom. I look wistfully at a phone, and he stares sadly at a picture of me looking HOT, I am on stage alone staring out into a crowd, reaching for him in the darkness. I continue to write, gazing through lace curtains at the rain.
I was only about 13, so that pocket full of innocence was intact as I fantasized about my 22-year-old British lead guitarist boyfriend! And what girl didn't want to be the queen of the dream?
During the whoa-ohs and guitar solo, Steve misses me in return, gazing into the camera, sending flowers that somehow just miss me. Did no one think to send them along to me? Hey - was that a ring he just bought?
At the conclusion of the video, I sneak backstage to surprise him but groupies! Sleazy record management! Drug dealers! Crazy fans who are probably more age appropriate! Roadies! It's too much, I've lost him! I turn to leave, a tear sliding down my cheek because heartbreak is so appropriate at this moment. But Steve sees me in the crowd, his heart is true, and he disengages from the throng and races to catch up to me.
We face each other, the both of us wracked with emotion, and kiss, defying the meaning of the song, as Joe Elliot sings that we are bound to “play the fool.”
So unoriginal. Cringe complete.
Once I finished it, I was so embarrassed I hid the notes between my mattress and box spring for at least a year. It may still be in a box of papers in the basement along with my other diaries.
As embarrassing as it is, I say keep creating preteens. This is your artistic heart sorting something out while you are transitioning into adulthood. Lest any reader judge, I know you’ve got some Duran Duran adventure diaries tucked away in a box somewhere.
Edited to add there's an official video for this song I never saw before today! My concept was better.
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